Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I've kicked off this semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.
Part one of this series can be found here. Part two of this series can be found here. Part three is here. Part four is here.
Today, I want to talk about dining. Now, obviously, you can eat whatever you want, however you want - when you are alone. You are the king or queen of your domain, after all, and if the sovereign wants to eat "blue box" macaroni and cheese out of the pot, then have your "blue box" macaroni and cheese right out of the pot!
However, when it comes to royal banquets, state dinners, and so on, there are certain rules that are expected to be followed.
You could probably write an entire book on table etiquette, and still run the risk of leaving something out. Consider this to be "banquet etiquette 101", and understand that it's the bare minimum - and we are only speaking here of European-style table settings, not Asian.
When setting a table, use either placemats or individual chargers (the preferred option) at each place to protect the table (assuming the chargers aren't being removed when service starts). If used, chargers are removed after the main course. Also, every item of cutlery placed on the table should be intended for use during the meal - it's not an opportunity to show off your exotic collection of obscure flatware.
Hats? No. The only exception is ladies' headgear, but that's only true if a) you are a visitor and b) it is during the day. (Ladies, if you're wearing unisex headgear, such as a baseball cap, take it off.) The more general rule is to take your hat off inside anyway, particularly when entering a place of dining. (When I enter a restaurant, I hold the door open for my companions, and then as I step across the threshold I remove my hat.)
When you sit down, remember the acronym BMW - your Bread plate is on your left, your Main plate is in the centre, and your Water and Wine glasses are on your right. (The larger wine glass is for red wine, the smaller for white.)
Don't "flourish" your napkin, and don't tuck it into your shirt - simply unfold it completely, then fold it in half and place it in your lap. And it is only to be used for dabbing food residue from your mouth.
Don't butter your bread directly from the butter dish - you'll get crumbs in the butter dish. Rather, cut a knob of butter out of the butter dish and place it on your bread plate, then butter your bread from that.
After everyone is seated and the food is served, everyone must wait for the host (or hostess) to take the first bite.
It's considered rude to season your food with salt and pepper before you've tasted it, as it suggests you don't have faith that the cook was able to adequately season the food.
When it comes to cutlery, you generally "work from the outside in". When eating with a knife and fork, the knife goes in your right hand, and the fork in your left. Do not juggle your fork back and forth between your hands. If eating something that doesn't require a knife, you can hold the fork in your right hand.
If you have to remove something from your mouth, such as an olive pit, the general rule is to "remove it the same way it went in". So, for our hypothetical olive pit, if you had placed the olive in your mouth by hand, then remove the pit with the same hand, and place it on the plate. If, on the other hand, the olive was in a forkful of salad, then deposit the pit back onto the fork in your mouth, and remove it to the plate. The napkin is not used to remove things from the mouth.
What if you take a bite of something and you don't like it? It's time to make a sacrifice for the country you represent, and swallow it down.
I don't have to tell anyone to chew with their mouth closed, or to refrain from talking with food in their mouth, do I? As for elbows... keep them off the table.
When you are taking a break from eating, but not finished, lay your utensils so they cross each other - and if you must leave the table, place your napkin on your chair. When you have finished with your course, place the used utensils together so their handles are at either the "four o'clock" or "six o'clock" position on the plate.
I do hope you remembered to put your phone on silent before the meal. It stays in your pocket for the duration, even if it beeps or rings or vibrates. If it catches on fire, you may remove yourself from the table to extinguish it (but only after excusing yourself to your fellow diners - and remember to place your napkin on your chair).
