Well, it certainly makes a statement!

 I'd previously blogged about my search for a throne... Last week I spotted this one on the Merchoid website. Given the state of the royal coffers right now, I might need to crowd-fund it...

Does it look comfortable? Not sure...

Finally, a throne!

I've previously documented my search for a suitable throne. Today, I'm happy to reveal that I've found one! While rummaging through the local charity store, I found a wonderful medieval-looking chair:

The new throne of Slabovia

That won't be its final resting place - in that picture, it's blocking access to the basement stairs (on the left) AND the downstairs bathroom (on the right). I'm also still contemplating potential modifications to make it more "royal". And, of course, if I find an even better throne at some point in the future, then so be it.

But, for now, We have Our throne. 👑

Making your life more royal (part six of a series) - Serve your guests like a royal

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I've kicked off this semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

Part one of this series can be found here. Part two of this series can be found here. Part three is here. Part four is here. And, of course, part five is here.

Setting a royal table (as briefly discussed in part five) is one thing, but you can't serve blue-box-brand macaroni and cheese to royalty. Well, you CAN, if you're the king/queen, and it would certainly be memorable, but maybe not in the way you'd hope.

Royal banquets are usually in the format of a "full-course meal". In modern society, these are typically either three or five courses.

A three-course meal consists of:

• Starter or salad
• Main course
• Dessert

A five-course meal consists of:

• Hors d'oeuvres
• Soup
• A fish/seafood course
• A main entrée (such as a roast with sides)
• Dessert

Emily Post [Wikipedia] recommended a seven-course meal:

• cold hors-d'oeuvres
• soup
• fish
• entrée (meaning a main, unlike Charles Ranhofer's menu below)
• roast
• salad
• dessert (followed by after-dinner coffee)

Of course, if you want to go over-the-top, you can follow the 14-course menu of Charles Ranhofer [Wikipedia]:

• Oysters
• 2 Soups
• Side dishes, hot and cold
• 2 fish and potatoes
• 1 relevé or remove (i.e. a light roast, such as lamb) with vegetables
• First entrée with vegetables (Note that entrée here does not mean a main dish; it means "entrance" and implies a lighter starter dish such as a goat-cheese salad or escargots the use of entrée to mean a main dish is a uniquely American phenomenon)
• Second entrée with vegetables
• Third entrée with vegetables
• Punch
• 1 or 2 roast meats
• 1 or 2 cold dishes with salad
• 1 hot sweet dessert
• 1 or 2 cold sweet desserts
• 1 or 2 ices, plus the last dessert [fruit, served with the ices]

Regardless of the number of courses, service can be "à la française" or "à la russe". Service "à la russe" is probably what you picture when you think about, for example, Downton Abbey - each course is brought to the table separately, and served individually to each guest. Hopefully, you have a large staff for that! Service "à la française", on the other hand, means that the individual courses above are grouped together (often into three groups: first, any potages + hors d’œuvres + entrées + relevés, then all roasts + salads + entremets, and finally the desserts. However, the individual items are still eaten in the "correct order" according to classical dining, so (for example), during the first course you'd eat the potage, then the hors d'oeuvres, then the entrées and finally the relevés. Unless you're sure that your guests are up on their table service manners, service "à la russe" is probably the way to go.

As for what to make for these various courses, there are literally thousands of recipe websites and cookbooks out there. The only advice I can provide is this: the more courses you're serving, the lighter each course should be. If you're having someone sit through fourteen courses, you probably shouldn't be serving big plates of pasta. Oh, and test every recipe before the day of the banquet! There's nothing worse than having your recipe flop when your guests are waiting at the table!

And, if all else fails, there's always pizza delivery.

The desserts we served at MicroCon 2019
(They were sponsored by Westarctica, hence the flag)

Some thoughts on royalty as spectacle

Last week, I posted some thoughts on "what it means to be royal" here. Today, I want to talk about about royalty from the perspective of, well, the non-royal.

To some extent, royalty and nobility exist as spectacle, as visible "betters" (using that word carefully) for the commoner. And while this seems on first glance to be unfair and undemocratic, today I am going to argue that there are concrete benefits for the nation and for the citizenry.

First, the trappings of royalty, such as regalia, coronation ceremonies, and jubilees, provide a deep sense of tradition and history through their symbolism. Elected officials come and go, and political parties bring different sensibilities to the representational houses, but (as I've stated before) the monarchy endures. In so doing, they provide a sense of constancy for the nation, and the regalia and ceremonies help build that sense.

Second, and relatedly, the royalty of a nation provides a symbol of national identity and unity. No matter which political party is in power, all citizens are subjects of the Crown. Furthermore, the Crown can exert some measure of control over the elected government in the name of the citizenry, even in a modern monarchy like the United Kingdom, although such power obviously needs to be restrained and used sparingly.

Finally, while the Crown amasses wealth in the form of property and treasury, that wealth is not truly owned by the individual that wears the crown. Rather, it is owned and managed by the Crown on behalf of the country and its citizens, particularly the future generations. Ideally, the citizens don't look at the palace and think of it as ostentatious hoarding of wealth, but as upkeep and preservation of that wealth for their descendants.

I will close this out by, again, quoting from The Crown, a wonderful Netflix series (six seasons) about the life of Queen Elizabeth II.

“Monarchy isn’t rational or democratic or logical or fair. Haven’t we all learned that by now? People don’t want to come to a royal palace and get what they could have at home. When they come for an investiture or a state visit, when they brush up against us, they want the magic and the mystery and the arcane and the eccentric and the symbolic and the transcendent. They want to feel like they’ve entered another world. That is our duty, to lift people up and transform them into another realm, not bring them down to earth and remind them of what they already have.” (Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth II, The Crown, Season 6, Episode 6, “Ruritania”)

Making your life more royal (part four of a series) - Dressing the part

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I've kicked off this semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

Part one of this series can be found here. Part two of this series can be found here. Part three is here.

If "the clothes make the man" (or woman), that's doubly true when it comes to the nobility. Since a first impression is a powerful influence, it's important to ensure that strangers recognize your regnal authority at first glance.

However, it's important to recognize that there are different levels of dress. Much like members of the military might have "ceremonial" (formal parade) uniforms, "mess dress", "Class A" (dress) uniforms, and "duty dress", you will want to invest in several different outfits.

First is the coronation attire. It will be worn rarely, possibly only once, but it is the ultimate statement of "dress to impress". Think ermine robes, full crown, orb and scepter, etc.

Next is the formal wear: white tie or black tie, for state dinners and other formal functions. Ladies, this is typically the only time you'll wear a tiara.

At about the same level we have ceremonial parade uniforms, for those nobles who are also service members or honorary unit commanders. Wearing these is largely context-dependent - if you're acting in the military capacity in any way, then this would be appropriate. (However, beware of "stolen valour" accusations - do not use modern military insignia or medals that you haven't earned yourself, not even replicas!)

Business attire (blazer or sport coat with collared shirt and dressy pants such as chinos for men, either a nice dress or trousers and jacket for women) would be worn for official but less-formal occasions. In cooler weather, I prefer Harris tweed sport coats, ideally with a vest underneath (with a pocket watch on a fob chain), and either a club tie or a regimental tie (or an ascot if I'm feeling playful), with a London Fog trench coat if the weather requires it. 

Finally, casual attire is day-to-day wear - jeans and polo shirts or t-shirts, for example. Clothing and footgear should be in good repair. I like to wear a t-shirt that I picked up at Universal Studios several years ago that says "King" - just to make it clear.

What the well-dressed king wears in his off-hours?

Finally, a word about hats: understand the rules about wearing them! For gentlemen, hats should be worn outdoors, and in outdoors-equivalent areas such as the lobby of a building or an elevator, but should be removed immediately on entering the indoors. In particular, a hat must not be worn when eating! For women, if they are wearing a "fascinator" style of hat then it should stay on the head at all times in public, but otherwise (if, for example, she is wearing a baseball hat) the same rules that men follow would apply.

Making your life more royal (part three of a series) - Furnishing your castle

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I've kicked off this semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

Part one of this series can be found here. Part two of this series can be found here.

We've already talked about thrones, but you probably need more furniture than just a throne, unless you expect all of your guests to remain standing for their entire visit. And, unless you're the king of Sweden, your furniture probably shouldn't all come from Ikea!

If you've got some money, then buying appropriate furnishings might be an option. I've seen some truly nice things on the Wayfair website, but their prices would destroy my treasury...

Search "executive desk" on Wayfair

Search "throne" on Wayfair

There are a few nice thrones over on Amazon, and the prices are a BIT lower than Wayfair.

You may get lucky and find suitable furnishings at your local charity store (Value Village, Goodwill, etc.) - I've heard that others have found thrones, etc. there, although I never have. If you're handy, you can often get beat-up furniture fairly cheaply and then refinish it at home.

If you're even handier, you might be able to build your own furniture. House Graydragon of the Society for Creative Anachronism has a webpage devoted to furniture, which includes plans for a Glastonbury chair, a simple Gothic bench, and a simple storage chest (which they use for storing bocce balls), among other things.

As further inspiration, there's a book called Constructing Medieval Furniture by Daniel Diehl (Stackpole Books, 1996) which, if you can find it, may prove inspirational for the DIY decorator. The author also co-wrote a book called Medieval & Renaissance Furniture: Plans & Instructions for Historical Reproductions with Mark P. Donnelly (Stackpole Books, 2012), but I don't know if it might overlap with the other one, or by how much. There are several other books on constructing medieval furniture available via retailers such as Amazon as well.

Make your life more royal (part two of a series) - Decorating your castle

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I'm kicking off a semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

Part one of this series can be found here. 

One way of doing that is by taking the old adage, "A man's home is his castle," a bit more literally - and this is true whether you're a man, a woman, or anything else. While you can buy literal castles over in Europe (sometimes for less than what a house in Toronto, Canada will cost these days - see footnote), many of us aren't on that sort of budget, or can't relocate to Europe easily. So, absent a rich relative suddenly leaving you their fortune, let's see how we can "work with what we have" in terms of decorating your living space. We're not focusing on furniture today - that will be another post later. I'm talking about other adornments and accessories that will make it clear this is a palace, not a studio apartment.

Also, I'm not talking about spray-painting everything with gold paint or covering it all with gilt leaf and calling it a day. Frankly, that looks ugly and gauche.

Fortunately, as I write this (summer 2025), the retail stores near me (particularly the discount retailers like Marshall's) are just starting to enter "Code Orange", meaning they are starting to get their Halloween stock in. Who knows what sort of candelabras, wall sconces, and other quasi-gothic housewares - err, castlewares - you'll be able to pick up?

I picked these bat wall appliques up in the post-Halloween sales last year!
(Yes, I haven't used them yet - I sometimes buy things
without knowing exactly how/when they will be used.)

If your royal treasury is flush with gold, there are some very nice things to be found in the online shop of the Royal Collection, a registered charity in the UK that administers "almost the entire contents of all the royal palaces" (which are not owned by the current monarch, but held in trust by them for the future). By purchasing from them, you'll be supporting their efforts to preserve British history.

However, even if you're on a budget, there are things you can do/make/buy to "royal up" your castle. First, never underestimate your local second-hand stores - you can often find amazing things that other people have discarded. I found these pewter plates at our local "Value Village" a couple of years ago, complete with the hardware to hang them on the wall:

Pewter plates from a second-hand store

Some of your thrift store finds might need a bit of work, but it's amazing how a fresh coat of paint (again, NOT gold!) or refinishing can make something look new again. (On the other hand, having things that were already "well-loved" can also lend them a bit of authenticity.)

Similarly, check out local garage sales, etc. I don't have them any more, but I once found two wall plaques at a garage sale, each of which had two miniature (steel!) swords tucked behind a coat of arms.

Don't forget about Amazon wish lists! Amazon has lots of nice "royal" home furnishings such as statues and wall plaques, swords, and even chainmail and helmets, so if you build a wish list and share it to your friends and family, they can buy you things off of it for your birthday or other occasions!

Speaking of online shopping, you can check out the "fast fashion" websites like Temu, although the quality is often uneven, to say the least. And check the sizing on those sites - a 6" banner won't look that impressive on your wall!

You can find surprising things at dollar stores, too! The lion wall plaque at the left of the photo below came from a dollar store (and the portrait on the wall behind it was another find from the local "Value Village").

Royalty is where you find it...

Something you can do that's pretty cheap and easy to do is to find pictures of gargoyles online, print them out, put them in cheap frames from the dollar store, and hang them above your doors, stairs, etc. If you already have 8.5x11" document frames around the house, it'll only cost you the paper and printer ink/toner!

Framed gargoyle picture from the Internet.
Note the "Queen's Chambers" sign in the background

If you have some spare fabric lying around, or you can pick some up cheap, you can always hang it from the walls as a ceiling-to-floor drapery.

Also remember to look for inspiration in "castle-adjacent" things - in that last picture, you can also see a "Queen's Chambers" sign hanging up, near the bottom of the photo. I found that at the Michael's Arts & Crafts chain store as part of the Bridgerton-inspired collection they released last year.

Footnote: Yes, I'm serious about a castle in France costing less than a house in Toronto - I recently saw a listing for a castle in Ax-les-Thermes, France, with five bedrooms selling for $633,800 USD, or about $870,000 CAD. At the time of writing (July 2025), the average price for a detached house in Toronto is about $1.4 million CAD. So, you could buy the castle and still have enough left to furnish it, for what you'd pay for a house in Toronto.

My ongoing quest for a suitable throne

What's the difference between a chair and a throne? Simply put, a throne is a symbol of the power of the occupant. Every sovereign needs a good throne to rest their royal seat on, and I've been searching for an appropriate throne for quite some time. In this post, I'll show you a few of the thrones I've experienced or considered over the years. Enjoy!

My coronation, err, throne. Moving on!

Replica Viking throne at a museum in Stockholm, Sweden -
made for a rather wide seat, or possibly it's a throne for two?

There's a similar one over on Etsy, which looks fantastic,
but I can't imagine what shipping from Ukraine would be!

I do like the look of this one, but I think it would be rather uncomfortable for long periods

There's always a more futuristic option...
(Taken at the wonderful Star Trek Set Tour, Ticonderoga, NY)

This one was at Disney World in Orlando, Florida
(Note also the "King of the Castle" shirt - it pays to advertise!)

And then there's, well, THIS - the donut throne.
(Universal Studios Orlando)

I spotted this over on Wayfair - I love the look, but the price is giving me pause, to say the least...

Spotted on Wayfair. Sigh.

If I can find someone with a well-equipped wood shop, this Gothic Arch break-down char, originally made for the Society for Creative Anachronism, might do for now, although I'll need to find a cushion - the "royal seat" isn't as well-padded as it used to be! There are also videos on YouTube showing throne-building, such as this one and this one.

If neither buying nor building are currently in your budget, another option might be to cover an existing chair with a nice length of cloth. At the end of the day, though, it's the occupant that makes the throne - not the other way around!

Make your life more royal (part one of a series) - Inspiration

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I'm kicking off a semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. At least superficially similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

To start with, well, you need to know where to start. In my case, I'm interested in modern European royalty, so that's what I'll be focusing on.

Visual imagery can be very inspiring. While you could just use a search engine, you could also try Pinterest boards - here's one I made for "Palace Inspiration", for example. I have similar boards for "Royal attire" and "Royal throne".

Television shows are often a good source for visual inspiration, including series such as "Downton Abbey", "Bridgerton", and "The Crown". There are also a number of movies such as The Queen, The King's Speech, and (for lighter fare) King Ralph.

One thing you can do to inject a bit of royalty into your life is to set your phone ringtone to a trumpet "fanfare" to insert a bit of royalty into your daily life - you can find a number of short fanfare videos like this one on YouTube; transferring the audio to your phone is left as an exercise for the reader.

Château de Gruyères, Switzerland