Weird hobbies and royalty

It seems to be a truism that royalty needs to pursue what are seen by the world as "weird hobbies". King Charles III, for instance, played polo and was a big proponent of British architectural heritage, while his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, loved her pet corgis.

Not to be outdone, I have a few "weird hobbies" as well. For one, I have what may actually be the largest privately held collection of absinthes in Canada - I did an inventory the other day, and I currently have 44 (yes, forty four) different kinds/brands of absinthe. And no, it doesn't drive you mad. I think? I first developed a taste for absinthe when I was in South Africa in 2004 for work, and managed to pick up a number of bottles during trips to Europe over the next few years (this was right after the ban had been lifted). These days, most of my absinthes seem to come from Quebec or the odd trip to the USA, although I recently received a bottle from Strathcona Spirits Distillery.

I also have a small collection of pocket watches - which I wear. If an occasion demands "jacket and tie", then I usually wear a vest under the jacket, and a pocket watch on a fob chain.

I also have a very large collection of Lego - so much so that I'm turning the basement into a "Lego room".

Finally, I used to collect dragons (mostly pewter figurines), but I seem to have gotten out of that over the years. I've since sent a couple of dragons (a stuffed one and a pin) to President Zar Antonov of Obscurium, and I may send him more dragons from my collection in the future.

So, what's your weird hobby or affectation?

An older picture of my absinthe collection from many years ago.
I probably still have about half of these, plus many new ones.

Operation Pole Dance

 MicroCon, as we've discussed before, is hosted every two years, always in a different city. The 2025 iteration of MicroCon was in Montreal, QC, and the 2027 event is going to be in San Diego, CA. This presents a logistical challenge even beyond the obvious "How am I getting there?" Specifically, there is the problem of the flag poles.

If you've seen pictures from the recent MicroCon events, you'll have noticed the row of flags behind the podium, each hanging from a flag pole. Well, those flag poles are owned (sort of) by MicroCon, and they are transferred from host city to host city. Now, these are fairly heavy items and there's a lot of them, so shipping via a courier company (or even postal service) would be prohibitively expensive. 

To ship them from Joliet, IL (host city for MicroCon 2023) to Montreal, Operation Pole Vault was conceived and initiated. In that exercise, Queen Carolyn of Ladonia (the host nation for MicroCon 2023) brought the poles into Canada, where she was met by a unit of the Slabovian Navey led by our chancellor, Rankin, and they took possession of the poles. They then moved the poles to Eastern Ontario, where they were met by representatives of the Aerican Empire who received the poles for the event.

Now, the poles need to move westward.

Phase one of that move, which we have dubbed Operation Pole Dance, will occur over Thanksgiving weekend. The Aerican Empire will bring the poles into Ontario for a rendezvous with an element from Westarctica, and Slabovia will provide security for the exchange. The Westarctican contingent will convey the poles back into the USA, and arrange for the next leg of the journey.

NOTE: The exact time, date, and place of the meeting have been purposely left vague for security purposes.

The flag poles (with flags) behind the podium at
MicroCon 2023, Joliet, IL, USA

Making your life more royal (part five of a series) - Dine like a royal

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I've kicked off this semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

Part one of this series can be found here. Part two of this series can be found here. Part three is here. Part four is here.

Today, I want to talk about dining. Now, obviously, you can eat whatever you want, however you want - when you are alone. You are the king or queen of your domain, after all, and if the sovereign wants to eat "blue box" macaroni and cheese out of the pot, then have your "blue box" macaroni and cheese right out of the pot!

However, when it comes to royal banquets, state dinners, and so on, there are certain rules that are expected to be followed.

You could probably write an entire book on table etiquette, and still run the risk of leaving something out. Consider this to be "banquet etiquette 101", and understand that it's the bare minimum - and we are only speaking here of European-style table settings, not Asian.

When setting a table, use either placemats or individual chargers (the preferred option) at each place to protect the table (assuming the chargers aren't being removed when service starts). If used, chargers are removed after the main course. Also, every item of cutlery placed on the table should be intended for use during the meal - it's not an opportunity to show off your exotic collection of obscure flatware.

Hats? No. The only exception is ladies' headgear, but that's only true if a) you are a visitor and b) it is during the day. (Ladies, if you're wearing unisex headgear, such as a baseball cap, take it off.) The more general rule is to take your hat off inside anyway, particularly when entering a place of dining. (When I enter a restaurant, I hold the door open for my companions, and then as I step across the threshold I remove my hat.)

When you sit down, remember the acronym BMW - your Bread plate is on your left, your Main plate is in the centre, and your Water and Wine glasses are on your right. (The larger wine glass is for red wine, the smaller for white.)

Don't "flourish" your napkin, and don't tuck it into your shirt - simply unfold it completely, then fold it in half and place it in your lap. And it is only to be used for dabbing food residue from your mouth.

Don't butter your bread directly from the butter dish - you'll get crumbs in the butter dish. Rather, cut a knob of butter out of the butter dish and place it on your bread plate, then butter your bread from that. 

After everyone is seated and the food is served, everyone must wait for the host (or hostess) to take the first bite. 

It's considered rude to season your food with salt and pepper before you've tasted it, as it suggests you don't have faith that the cook was able to adequately season the food.

When it comes to cutlery, you generally "work from the outside in". When eating with a knife and fork, the knife goes in your right hand, and the fork in your left. Do not juggle your fork back and forth between your hands. If eating something that doesn't require a knife, you can hold the fork in your right hand.

If you have to remove something from your mouth, such as an olive pit, the general rule is to "remove it the same way it went in". So, for our hypothetical olive pit, if you had placed the olive in your mouth by hand, then remove the pit with the same hand, and place it on the plate. If, on the other hand, the olive was in a forkful of salad, then deposit the pit back onto the fork in your mouth, and remove it to the plate. The napkin is not used to remove things from the mouth.

What if you take a bite of something and you don't like it? It's time to make a sacrifice for the country you represent, and swallow it down.

I don't have to tell anyone to chew with their mouth closed, or to refrain from talking with food in their mouth, do I? As for elbows... keep them off the table.

When you are taking a break from eating, but not finished, lay your utensils so they cross each other - and if you must leave the table, place your napkin on your chair. When you have finished with your course, place the used utensils together so their handles are at either the "four o'clock" or "six o'clock" position on the plate.

I do hope you remembered to put your phone on silent before the meal. It stays in your pocket for the duration, even if it beeps or rings or vibrates. If it catches on fire, you may remove yourself from the table to extinguish it (but only after excusing yourself to your fellow diners - and remember to place your napkin on your chair).

Image Source: Wikipedia

Slabovia's position on treaties

Something else that I see quite a bit of in the online micronational groups is the phenomenon of new micronations posting that they are seeking to sign treaties of mutual recognition, defense, or trade. Here's my thoughts:

• Mutual recognition is not required - your micronation exists because you say it does. You don't need my permission or acknowledgement.
• Mutual defense is not required - the very concept of "micronational war" is ludicrous, other than the potential for cyber warfare, and any physical violence or crime against person or property is best left to the macronational authorities (i.e. your local police).
• Trade treaties are not required, because most micronations don't produce anything of value, and for those that do, shipping expenses often preclude any meaningful trade.

For the reasons above, Slabovia does not generally sign treaties with other individual micronations. We do, however, consider signing what I would call "good behaviour" treaties - treaties that hold micronations to a promise or a high standard of behaviour, or that are otherwise for the betterment of the community.

Slabovia has signed several such treaties in the past, including:

• The Montevideo Convention on the Rights and Duties of States (Wikipedia)
• The Cyber Hostility Intervention Comprehensive Agreement Governing Offense (AKA the CHICAGO Accord - link)
• A treaty in support of the rights of trangendered individuals (this was signed at MicroCon 2025 but I don't have the details in front of me and can't currently locate any information online) - EDIT (October 18, 2025) - this was the Montreal Compact for Protection of Trans Safety

Additionally, we are currently studying the Micronation Space Cooperation Treaty authored by West Who and considering becoming a signatory to it. We would also consider signing the Chyse Charter mentioned in my previous post, but it appears to be specific to European micronations.

(Most) micronationals are NOT sovereign citizens

 One unfortunate aspect of the micronational community is that it intersects slightly with movements like sovereign citizens, Reichsburgers, Freemen on the Land, and other such groups. That is to say, while most micronationals do not carry or profess anything like the beliefs that the other groups have, most is not all. Slabovia's policy is not to engage with such groups or their members.

Members of these other groups tend to carry beliefs that modern "macronational" entities are somehow not legitimate and do not have the authority to govern the individual. Some (like Reichsburgers) claim citizenship in another older (and defunct) nation-state, while others claim that the individual is sovereign and cannot be imposed upon by the state (which would at least be tolerable if these groups didn't often try to back up their claims with violence or the threat thereof).

It's become a particular problem over in Europe with an article published in the press earlier this year which tried to claim that all micronationals are members of these other groups in some respect - a claim which is patently untrue.

In response to such concerns, Zar Antonov, the president of Obscurium, has authored the Chyse Charter (formally the "CHYŠE CHARTER ON THE DIFFERENTIATION OF MICRONATIONS AND SIMILAR, BUT HOSTILE ENTITIES AND MICRONATIONAL CONDUCT"). This document, which he's encouraging European micronations to sign, differentiates between micronations and such sovereign groups and individuals, both by specifically eschewing the use of violence by micronational states and by acknowledging the supremacy of the macronational state and its legal system. The Chyse Charter can be found here.

Some thoughts on royalty as spectacle

Last week, I posted some thoughts on "what it means to be royal" here. Today, I want to talk about about royalty from the perspective of, well, the non-royal.

To some extent, royalty and nobility exist as spectacle, as visible "betters" (using that word carefully) for the commoner. And while this seems on first glance to be unfair and undemocratic, today I am going to argue that there are concrete benefits for the nation and for the citizenry.

First, the trappings of royalty, such as regalia, coronation ceremonies, and jubilees, provide a deep sense of tradition and history through their symbolism. Elected officials come and go, and political parties bring different sensibilities to the representational houses, but (as I've stated before) the monarchy endures. In so doing, they provide a sense of constancy for the nation, and the regalia and ceremonies help build that sense.

Second, and relatedly, the royalty of a nation provides a symbol of national identity and unity. No matter which political party is in power, all citizens are subjects of the Crown. Furthermore, the Crown can exert some measure of control over the elected government in the name of the citizenry, even in a modern monarchy like the United Kingdom, although such power obviously needs to be restrained and used sparingly.

Finally, while the Crown amasses wealth in the form of property and treasury, that wealth is not truly owned by the individual that wears the crown. Rather, it is owned and managed by the Crown on behalf of the country and its citizens, particularly the future generations. Ideally, the citizens don't look at the palace and think of it as ostentatious hoarding of wealth, but as upkeep and preservation of that wealth for their descendants.

I will close this out by, again, quoting from The Crown, a wonderful Netflix series (six seasons) about the life of Queen Elizabeth II.

“Monarchy isn’t rational or democratic or logical or fair. Haven’t we all learned that by now? People don’t want to come to a royal palace and get what they could have at home. When they come for an investiture or a state visit, when they brush up against us, they want the magic and the mystery and the arcane and the eccentric and the symbolic and the transcendent. They want to feel like they’ve entered another world. That is our duty, to lift people up and transform them into another realm, not bring them down to earth and remind them of what they already have.” (Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth II, The Crown, Season 6, Episode 6, “Ruritania”)

Making your life more royal (part four of a series) - Dressing the part

Part of the reason I set up this blog is to help people "put a little royalty into their life". To that end, I've kicked off this semi-regular series of postings about bringing the castles of Europe to you, sort of. Similar to the "Gothic Homemaking" series of videos that were put out by Aurelio Voltaire (over on YouTube), this will be a recurring series on how to make your own life, well, a bit more royal.

Part one of this series can be found here. Part two of this series can be found here. Part three is here.

If "the clothes make the man" (or woman), that's doubly true when it comes to the nobility. Since a first impression is a powerful influence, it's important to ensure that strangers recognize your regnal authority at first glance.

However, it's important to recognize that there are different levels of dress. Much like members of the military might have "ceremonial" (formal parade) uniforms, "mess dress", "Class A" (dress) uniforms, and "duty dress", you will want to invest in several different outfits.

First is the coronation attire. It will be worn rarely, possibly only once, but it is the ultimate statement of "dress to impress". Think ermine robes, full crown, orb and scepter, etc.

Next is the formal wear: white tie or black tie, for state dinners and other formal functions. Ladies, this is typically the only time you'll wear a tiara.

At about the same level we have ceremonial parade uniforms, for those nobles who are also service members or honorary unit commanders. Wearing these is largely context-dependent - if you're acting in the military capacity in any way, then this would be appropriate. (However, beware of "stolen valour" accusations - do not use modern military insignia or medals that you haven't earned yourself, not even replicas!)

Business attire (blazer or sport coat with collared shirt and dressy pants such as chinos for men, either a nice dress or trousers and jacket for women) would be worn for official but less-formal occasions. In cooler weather, I prefer Harris tweed sport coats, ideally with a vest underneath (with a pocket watch on a fob chain), and either a club tie or a regimental tie (or an ascot if I'm feeling playful), with a London Fog trench coat if the weather requires it. 

Finally, casual attire is day-to-day wear - jeans and polo shirts or t-shirts, for example. Clothing and footgear should be in good repair. I like to wear a t-shirt that I picked up at Universal Studios several years ago that says "King" - just to make it clear.

What the well-dressed king wears in his off-hours?

Finally, a word about hats: understand the rules about wearing them! For gentlemen, hats should be worn outdoors, and in outdoors-equivalent areas such as the lobby of a building or an elevator, but should be removed immediately on entering the indoors. In particular, a hat must not be worn when eating! For women, if they are wearing a "fascinator" style of hat then it should stay on the head at all times in public, but otherwise (if, for example, she is wearing a baseball hat) the same rules that men follow would apply.

Micronational anthems

 One thing that seems to come up regularly on the micronational forums is that newly-formed micronations ask for help in "composing a national anthem". I get it - well-written anthems are a stirring audible reminder of your micronation's history and culture. But it's also a lot of work!

Fortunately, once again, it's The Internet To The Rescue!

I've played around with the Build Your Own National Anthem page over on Slate a few times - it's neat, but only generates the words, you'd be on your own for the music.

I just ran it again for Slabovia, and it came up with this one:

Total Isle

(Anthem of Slabovia)

You're the light of the soul,

Eternal fire's flame,

Mother of ours, land of Slabovia.

Strive for honour, sons and daughters,

Do the right, be firm, be fair.

In battles for freedom, and battles for our lot

We have won our banners of victory!

The entire people will safeguard the independence

And the freedom of the Slabovian nation.

Prepare to accept responsibility

And to help each other!

O sea of palest em'rald,

Merging to darkest blue,

Whene'er my thoughts fly Godward,

I always think of you.

Against the cannons, march on, march on!

Remember, through my joy, each march.

Rays of this strong dawn

Are like a mother's kisses,

That keep us, sustain us,

Against the injuries of fate.

So, yeah, that's neat. But, again, no melody. However, with the boom of generative AI over the last few years, there are now several sides that will use it to create an anthem for you. I'll leave it to you to decide if it's worth using "Plagiarism-as-a-Service" to create your anthem, given all the bad things we now know about generative AI generally. I'm not going to link to any of them here, because I haven't tried any of them and don't want it to seem like an endorsement, but a quick search for "national anthem generator" in your favourite search engine should yield several likely hits.

Good luck and have fun!

Some thoughts on what it means to be royal

When we talk about royalty, what do we mean?

Think about royal titles like "Duke of York" or "Earl of Suffolk". These titles are attached to geography, to locations or areas that these people rule over. They are entrusted to take care of that land by their king or queen, who has granted them the title. Thus, by "ruling over", we need to understand that the first responsibility is to preserve the resources of the land for the future - or at least not squander them frivolously. (It should be noted that resources here can include the people.) This, in turn, means that the titled individual must be above daily trends or concerns such as politics. 

More than that, though, the titled noble should be thought of the embodiment or personification of the land itself. Like the land, the title will endure, through good times and bad, providing constancy.

None of this should be taken to mean that the noble is aloof or removed from their people. Quite the opposite, in fact: the noble should keenly feel every "sling and arrow of outrageous fortune" (to misquote Hamlet) that their people suffer, and wherever possible should demonstrate noblesse oblige towards their subjects. 

However, the land overall must endure regardless of the fate of the individual, and so it is with the nobility. If you bankrupt your treasury to elevate your citizens, then what future does your kingdom have?

Finally, I will close with a quote from the Netflix series The Crown which (despite allegedly taking certain liberties with some events) provides a very good and entertaining window into the life of Queen Elizabeth II.

"Monarchy is God's sacred mission to grace and dignify the earth. To give ordinary people an ideal to strive towards, an example of nobility and duty to raise them in their wretched lives. Monarchy is a calling from God. That is why you are crowned in an abbey, not a government building. Why you are anointed, not appointed. It's an archbishop that puts the crown on your head, not a minister or public servant. Which means that you are answerable to God in your duty, not the public." (Eileen Atkins as Queen Mary, The Crown, Season 1, Episode 4, "Act of God")

My royal cipher